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- NOW AVAILABLE:
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- A Grand And Glorious Adventure:
The Saboteur Years
- “A truly compelling account of Paul’s life, told
with remarkable awareness and understanding.”
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Devra Ann Jacobs, Editor, Mystic
Pop Magazine
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- From the back cover:
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Inside these pages is the profound journey into the
heart and soul of a man who spent his entire life looking for love
and self-worth outside himself. With tremendous honesty and sincerity,
Paul explains how as a spiteful angry young man he locked himself
into an emotional cocoon where he operated out of his head rather
than to give love or be loved.
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Within his lonely
and fearful world Paul became so desperate to please God that after
graduating from high school he allowed himself to be swallowed up
by Sun Myung Moon’s Unification Church. He speaks candidly about
his 22 years as a Moonie including being one of Moon’s chosen
leaders, about his struggles with his sexuality, and about the tremendous
challenge of developing a relationship with his Moon-chosen spouse.
After divorcing
both Moon and his spouse, Paul’s adventure turned inward where
he learned through meditation and journaling that God was within him,
not outside him. He slowly realized that all his life he’d been
trying to manipulate the world outside himself in an attempt to repair
his broken heart by wanting everyone to join him in his healing. Such
massive expectations eventually caused tremendous heartbreak. He had
to learn to accept all the things about himself he once hated and
finally discovered deeper meaning to his life only when he began surrendering
to the absolute wonder of God, the mystery of life itself. This is
a fascinating story for anyone who is even mildly curious about living
a spiritual path.
This book is 252 pages of adventure. An excerpt from the book, pages
123-125:
"...Precisely. Based on an emotional attachment
to the need to suffer as a way to find God, guilt became my constant companion.
I was never good enough because I always felt guilty that I wasn’t
doing enough. Why? Because no matter how hard I worked, I believed Moon
himself was working harder. How can I truly be worthy of God’s love
when the one who is my source for that love does more than me? This was
quite a dilemma and it was a living hell yet I was addicted to it. Why?
Because I believed my hell was my ticket to heaven. I believed on the
day of my death I will have to review my life in the presence of God.
I wanted God to see how much I had suffered just for him. I believed Moon
would be standing there like a defense lawyer, speaking on my behalf to
convince God that all my suffering was indeed a good thing—done
in support of his Messianic mission. I hoped Moon’s argument would
be persuasive enough to convince God so he would smile and gladly open
the gates and let me in. Now I realize such a notion was BS—conjured
up in the head where God does not exist. I have found out life doesn’t
work this way at all. God is non-partial. God supports every desire I
have. As long as I believed I needed to be in hell, I desired to be in
hell and thus, I created hell for myself by creating emotions that matched
my belief, and of course, the world outside of me became a mirror of my
hell. The reason didn’t matter at all because the reason was based
on mental gobbledygook. There are plenty of reasons I can come up with
for why I believe what I believe but God doesn’t care about what
I think or believe. God compassionately supports my choices because I
am a piece of him with free will to do whatever I want. God doesn’t
care what I choose. Since I am inseparable from God, in reality, I am
the one who agrees with my beliefs and I create corresponding emotions
to support them. The ultimate source God simply supports me. That’s
his unconditional love—to let me believe and create whatever I want
without judgment or interfering.
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- All my life I have reinforced my belief that
I need to suffer! Like God, experiences are also non-partial. Things
happened to me and my mind interpreted these experiences based on
my beliefs. Since I believed I needed to suffer, my mind concluded
that my experiences were happening to support my belief so it said
to me, “Indeed, life is suffering. It’s clear.”
Suffering emotions followed and deep inside I felt good because I
believed I was doing the right thing and consequently, I was locked
into my suffering all the deeper.
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- The love that I am, or God, dwells in my heart.
Thus, within my heart is an infinite abundance of love. However, when
I chose to believe my mom sucked the life out of me and then abandoned
me, I assigned my mind the job of protecting the love in my heart.
I didn’t want anyone to see it because I intuitively knew how
precious all this infinite love was and I didn’t want anyone
just using it for their own gain or abusing it in any way so I asked
my mind to be the guardian angel over my heart—to protect it
at all costs from intruders. Shortly thereafter and as I grew, I found
myself under the guidance of both my parents. I interpreted my dad’s
lack of emotion and emphasis on discipline and my mom’s lack
of self-worth through the eyes of fear and was further convinced I
needed to protect my heart.
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- As I entered my educational years I learned
I was born a sinner, that I wasn’t worthy to stand alone before
God, that I needed someone outside myself to go through if I wanted
a relationship with this God, and that this person, Jesus, demanded
obedience. I learned Jesus had shown the way to God through his suffering,
that in fact the reason for his being alive at all was to die to pay
for my sins. I was told this was the greatest example of love—he
who lays his life down for another. Thus, the message was clear—being
willing to suffer for the sake of others amounted to unconditional
love, and the greatest love of all was seen by those whose suffering
for the sake of others reached the point of death. These are the beliefs
I was exposed to. Since I was already convinced I needed to protect
my heart and thus did not allow anyone to see the boundless love that
resided inside my heart, I was already in hell because by refusing
to give love out I had automatically blocked it from coming in and
life without love is hell. These beliefs I was being exposed to by
the Catholic Church gave my fertile mind reasoning that supported
the hell I was already creating for myself. These beliefs gave me
a mental justification for suffering. Now I could at least reason
logically when I was in my self-created hell that I was following
in Jesus’ footsteps and thus my suffering was good. It gave
me all the more ammunition to maintain my mind as the protector of
my heart. From then on whenever I was confronted with the love in
my heart (God), whenever I felt it pulling me towards a relationship—an
opportunity to open it up—my mind immediately stepped in and
reminded me of the gobbledygook that was floating around up there.
It convinced me I was better off staying away from this opportunity
because, after all, I would have to open up my heart and let my glorious
love be seen if I pursued it. That wouldn’t jive at all with
the notion that if I wanted to be close to God I needed to be like
Jesus whose example was that of suffering. Based on this reasoning
I justified keeping my heart closed—and felt good about it.
Remember, I was just a kid so I really had no idea what was going
on inside my head. All I knew was fear.
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- Meanwhile, God (the love in my heart) waited
patiently while I carried on with my analytical gobbledygook and continually
created hell for myself. By the time I was in high school desiring
to get close to girls—to have sex and all the rest, my beliefs
were so engrained there was no way I was going to let all my love
(God) be seen outside the box I was keeping it in. Thus, allowing
me such pleasure was out of the question. When I was exposed to the
book Be Here Now after high school all these deep-seated
beliefs were threatened. Ram Dass was telling me that I was responsible
for my suffering and that I could change it and deep inside this didn’t
jive with what I believed, although I wanted it too because I was
tired of suffering. But somewhere inside I was asking myself why I
would want to change my suffering if by tasting it I was getting close
to Jesus (and I did feel close to Jesus). When I chose to separate
myself from the Be Here Now gang and went home where I was
exposed again to dad’s lack of emotion and demands for obedience
and mom’s lack of self-worth, I freaked. I was as ripe as ripe
could be for Moon’s teachings at that point and, when exposed
to them, latched onto them like nobody’s business.
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- What Moon presented me was even better than
what the Catholics taught. With Moon I had the opportunity to serve
a living Messiah, not a dead one I could only talk to but never see.
With Moon, I could see him, feel his love, and get clear direction
concerning what God wanted me to do with my life directly from him
without having to dig inside my heart and wrestle with this question.
When, in Feb. 1975 I was on my hands and knees begging God to show
me what he wanted me to do the night before I met one of Moon’s
representatives, I was tasting the challenge I now realize I had to
face sooner or later of digging deep inside myself to discover who
I am and what I am here for. The answer to these questions can only
be found inside, not outside through someone I believe to be God’s
representative or through a book of truth. It was so much easier for
me to latch onto Moon’s teachings rather than to continue the
agonizing process of self-discovery. I filled my head with his dogma
and took off running. Oh, and did I mention I remained locked into
my self-created hell? That’s a given here and I still didn’t
have a clue what was really going on inside my head.
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- Only now, over 30 years later, am I realizing
the only way out is to consciously choose to see all my experiences
as a gift and a blessing, not as suffering at all. I now understand
I have to train my mind to see every situation and circumstance as
God loving me. It’s critical that my mind agrees with this since
my emotions are created by my beliefs. Thus, only when my belief becomes
that all life is a reflection of the love of God can my emotions begin
to support this belief and thus reinforce it with feelings of love
and joy. I see now that I have to fire my mind as the guardian of
my heart and then reprogram it so it can handle a different job. It
has only done one job, so it’s naïve about the other job
potential it has. I have to teach it that the greatest way it can
help itself (and me in the process) is to stay quiet and observe when
I begin making an effort to open up my heart to let my love flow out.
As you have seen and will continue to see, this re-education process
has been like trying to teach an old dog new tricks. My mind often
rebels and goes back to its old job.
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- The greatest problem I’ve had is that
I’ve not been aware of what my deepest beliefs are. I thought
I knew but in reality I didn’t have a clue how deeply embedded
in me was the notion that the only way to God is through suffering.
I’ve discovered self-awareness is crucial if I want to develop
a genuine relationship with God (myself). Self-awareness means waking
up to what my deepest beliefs are. Only when I am aware of what I
believe can I possibly make the choice to change my beliefs, that
is, if in my awareness I can see that they no longer work for me.
Only when my beliefs are such that they cause emotions of love and
joy can I truly find inner peace. In other words, only when I reach
the level of awareness that I am inseparable from God can I truly
allow myself to let the infinite, boundless love of God that dwells
in my heart shine out freely to all without any need to restrict it.
The only thing capable of placing restrictions on my ability to love
freely is dogma, which as far as I’m concerned is all mental
gobbledygook..."
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There are two ways you can order this book:
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1) For a personalized autographed copy of
Paul's book, send a check or money order for $25. Allow two
weeks for delivery and be sure to include where you want the book
to be sent. Send to:
Paul Reinig
P.O. Box 541
Indian Rocks Beach, FL 33785
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2) To order online on amazon.com, click here:
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A
Grand and Glorious Adventure
- NEW:
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- Developing A Relationship With Yourself
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- This is a 2 CD Set
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- The most important and profound relationship
you can possibly ever have is your relationship with yourself, where
honor, acceptance, respect, love and compassion govern this relationship.
New Energy consciousness means choosing to be completely authentic and
real. For most of Paul’s life, he was not authentic because he
hated himself but didn’t know it. Upon realizing this, he made
a commitment to learn to love himself no matter what. He discovered
that the aspects of himself he was constantly battling and pushing away
only wanted to be loved. By accepting and honoring them they were able
to come to a natural resolution. Part of this process involved shifting
his focus from his mind, which he had been allowing to control him,
to his heart, where he realized he was not separate from Source. This
shift allowed him to begin loving himself and others coming from a place
of compassion.
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- In this 2 CD set, Paul shares honestly and sincerely
from personal experience, insights into what it means to develop a genuine
relationship with yourself (Source). If remembering who you are is what
you are seeking, this CD will provide you with priceless tools to achieve
this.
To listen to an excerpt of this cd, click here:
Audio
Excerpt
There are two ways you can order this
2 CD set:
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1) Send a check or money order for
$20. Allow two weeks for delivery and be sure to include where you
want the 2 CD set to be sent. Send to:
Paul
Reinig
P.O. Box 541
Indian Rocks Beach, FL 33785
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2) To order online, click
here:
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Developing
A Relationship With Yourself
- NEW: Leap!
DVD
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- Leap!
is a film that compels you to consider the ageless theory that “The
world is an illusion“. This idea may challenge your current beliefs
and ideals, but then again Einstein did say, “Reality is merely
an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” Leap! explores
ancient and modern philosophies and philosophers who support the illusion
theory. To Leap! beyond the illusion is to let go and live
from inspiration….To Leap! beyond the constraints of
your current perceived reality and what you think you know…. The
purpose of Leap! is to invite each of us to live beyond the
illusion. This movie is not about denying our physical experience. Ultimately
it is about leaping beyond limitations and restrictions which this illusion
appears to impose.
To watch a trailer and/or purchase this DVD, click
here: Buy
Now
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